Rachel recently had the opportunity to dance in The Nutcracker Remixed with other little dancers from the Toddlers & Tutus classes! It was so exciting! It was not the traditional Nutcracker that we all know and love, but a fun, modernized version with popular music and a new twist. It followed the same lines with Clara and the other characters, but it had a more relaxed feel and humor. I worried a bit during the weeks between the day I paid for her to be in the performance and bought the tickets until the day she took the stage for the very first time. Would my daughter actually get up on the stage...without me? No need to worry! I believe her exact words were, "I love dancing on the stage, Mommy!" Oh, boy...she wasn't kidding. We were laughing through our tears of pride the night of the performance because a couple of times she noticed her position on stage...and moved to the center...just staring out at the audience. I cannot wait to see the DVD. I think I missed a lot through my tears. I cannot believe how many emotions one can experience in such a short period of time. Pride, happiness, a little sadness (my baby is growing up way too fast), joy, and a tiny (very tiny) bit of embarrassment as our daughter decided her spot was center stage...at least twice that I can remember.
All ready for the big day!
Cotton Candy costume, leotard, tights,
dance shoes, tickets, program...
There she is!
Can I just say that when the teacher exclaimed time and again about how adorable our little ones were going to be in the Cotton Candy group because they had the cutest, fluffiest little costumes. "Just wait til you see them!" that I was expecting something quite different. Um...this Momma, for one, was hugely disappointed...where's the tutu and fluff and "cotton candy" look?" Seriously, I could not let it go at first. I wanted "cotton candy" costumes that looked like they were made for two and three year olds! It is their first year, their first performance and they are "cotton candy" for goodness sake! The maribou (feathery fluff on the edges) was a nice touch...we just needed tons MORE of it and a TUTU! I kind of got over it...kind of...but I did find out other moms were disapppointed too:). Okay, I'm done...just had to say it. Oh, and yes..they were adorable anyway, of course. They are two and three year olds.
Dress Rehearsal!
Waiting for her turn...
There were no pictures permitted the night of the performance, but I managed to snap a few the night of the rehearsal. I am bummed about the quality, but I was far away and the stage was dim. We sat in the audience until the groups were called. I experienced a very strange moment when they called for our little Cotton Candy group. I realized I wasn't part of it. I hugged her, wished her luck, told her to be a good listener for her teacher, and watched my baby walk away from me with a group of other tiny dancers. Yes, there were tears in my eyes as I turned to head back to my seat. I was proud and sad at the same time. It made my chest hurt. Then I sat, holding her little coat close to me, and waited. I remember holding my breath as her group took the stage...
Rachel is right in the center...staring out into the audience with her little hands near her tummy. I continued to hold my breath but snapped a picture. This earned me a rapid wave from her. Apparently she had been searching for me and the flash gave me away. There was little to no dancing happening...by any of them. They just stared, then would remember why they were there, do a step or two, stop and stare some more...
I took another photo in between...and got a another rapid wave. I swear I could almost hear her saying "Hi, Mommy!" over the loud music. I was simpy beaming through my watery eyes. All I could think was, "My baby is on stage! She is on stage without me! I am so stinkin' proud of her!" I felt, with or without performing the actual dance she practiced for weeks and weeks, just being up there was a huge accomplishment. Each week, after class, she would ask me if I'd go up with her and help her. I told her Mommies had to sit in the chairs in the audience and watch. I told her she'd have help from her teacher and other dancers. She did great...
At the end of their little dance, they had them get into a line and walk up under a scarf, stop and wave to the audience. During rehearsal, Rachel tried to get in line to do it again until they redirected her off stage. Perhaps she liked the applause!? Here she is coming through to do her little wave...
There were two performances, one Saturday night and one Sunday afternoon. I chose for her to be in only one performance thinking Saturday night's was just too late as it started at 7pm. Anyway, I really struggled with the "should I stay, should I go, should I volunteer to be a helper, should I miss the show to stay by her side..." Oh, what to do, what to do?! On Sunday, I took her through the stage door where all dancers had to enter. We checked in and found the dressing room area. I met one of the moms who would be watching our little ones. I gave Rachel a little tour, helped her into her costume, tried to put a tiny bit of make-up on her as required. She resisted a little and said, "No make-up, Mommy. Make-up is for Mommies!" (Can I get that on tape?) The blue-gray eye shadow I had looked so pretty with her eyes, the blush did nothing for her already rosy cheeks, and she immediately licked off the pink lipstick I applied to her tiny lips. So...a tiny bit of blue-gray eye shadow to highlight her eyes was it. We used the restroom, then went to stand with her group in the hall until the little ones all arrived and had to move into the dressing room...and mommies had to leave. They were permitted to bring something to play with, so I had packed her four little books and she carried her Pooh. The first thing that happened when we went to stand in the hall...another little girl walked over and snatched her Pooh right out of her arms. Fortunately, her mom was one of the moms watching the girls! (I think for good reason!) She gave Pooh back to Rachel and apologized. Her daughter then walked over and smacked it out of Rachel's arms and Pooh hit the floor! I think both mine and Rachel's mouths dropped open. We have not really experienced this before. The mom handled it as I held my daughter's hand even tighter. How was I going to leave her with this little terror? I knelt down to talk to Rachel quietly about expectations, wishing her good luck, telling her how proud I am of her, reminding her I needed to leave in a few minutes...and lo and behold...little terror child launches herself at me and wraps her arms around my neck in a hug almost knocking me onto the floor. I pat her back as Rachel watches in horror..."That's my Mommy..." and I disengage. It happened two more times! Thank goodness the others arrived shortly after. Fifteen minutes before curtain call, I gave my baby one more hug, a kiss on the cheek, good luck wishes and reminded her how proud her Daddy and I are of her. Then I did something that was harder than I thoght it'd be...I turned and walked away to exit and re-enter through the main lobby and left my baby with the other little dancers in the dressing room. Of course there were tears...that's a given. I composed myself as I tried to stay calm knowing I would not be seeing her again for almost an hour and twenty minutes...deep breaths...
Seeing her dressing room for the first time.
Look how little she is!
We met our friends who came to join us in celebrating Rachel's little dancing debut, found our seats, and the show began. Let me just say...waiting through 21 dance numbers, intermission, then three more before your 3.5 year old gets her turn...all the while wondering what she is doing backstage and if anyone is bullying her and whether or not she'll look bedraggled for her first time on stage...is really hard to do! Then we had to watch 15 more after her until the end of the show. I enjoyed the performances, but it could not go fast enough. When they came out...I snuck a look at her Daddy...we both had huge smiles on our faces while tears glistened in our eyes. They walked out...stopped and dropped hands and...stared out into the audience. They all did more dance steps than at rehearsal. Oh, wait...who am I kidding? I have no idea what the other girls did. I only saw one tiny dancer up there...the precious little one who dropped hands, looked and saw where she was in the line and moved to center stage at least twice. I could not see for a moment due to the tears streaming down my face...Frank and I were laughing so hard! It was funny to see her check her position and move to a more desirable one!
Here we are! They summoned us by group name. I could not wait. It was incredible watching her come up the stairs to me...looking proud...holding onto her teacher's hand. They did a good job getting her back into her dress and coat, but it was funny as she was still wearing her ballet slippers. I changed her shoes and then scooped her up and carried her off to her adoring fans. We had flowers for her and Timmarie and Timmi brought her a personalized ballerina ornament with her name and 2011 on it. Made Mommy cry. So beautiful. I'll have to get a picture of it.
Proud Daddy!
A little family shot...
