"These Are The Moments..."

Is there anything sweeter than a sleeping baby? One of the things I love most about being a mommy is watching my Angel sleep. It is something she has always been good at:). (And, yes, we truly know how fortunate we are.) Something she has done off and on over the past year and a half is sleep all the way through from her afternoon nap until morning. I was a little alarmed at first...new mommy:)...and thought something was wrong! I mean, I had friends whose little ones did not want to sleep all night at times let alone take a nap and here Rachel was sleeping from 3:30 - 4:00 pm until 7:30 - 8:00 am. I was so nervous about it I even brought it up to her pediatrician a couple of times. She simply smiled and said "Babies cannot sleep TOO much. Enjoy it while you can." I did notice a pattern...it seemed to have something to do with teething/growth spurts and travel. Especially travel. Every time we get back from any kind of trip, she does this a couple of days in a row. Well, this is what happened the other night after our return from spending four days in Eugene last weekend. (The first 3 pictures are just some general sweet sleeping pictures from during our trip to Disneyland in June/July.)

So...my dilemma when this happens is always whether or not to wake her for dinner. I feel badly if she misses dinner and is still in play clothes and hasn't had her diaper changed for a while. This just bothers me. I worry about her being hungry, cold and/or wet:). So...the other night when I checked on her I discovered her sleeping on her tummy with her little knees tucked way up under her tummy/chest. I touched her back and she just felt too cool to me. Plus she had taken off her socks. Well, I made my decision and scooped her up into my arms. Oh, my...so soft and sweet. I laid her on her changing table and the way she moved her head around and stretched and then curled up with bent knees immediately brought tears to my eyes. She looked so much like the tiny baby I sometimes have trouble remembering. She looked so tiny and vulnerable. I started talking to her softly telling her it was Mommy and what I was doing and why. I didn't want to startle her awake. I changed her and put her in her warmest jammies:)...Then I asked her if she wanted a drink of water. I knew if I did not turn lights on and stuff that she would have no trouble going back to sleep. (I love all the nightlights I invested in after she was born:)) She shook her head "yes" and we went to get one from the bathroom. As I stood there letting her sip the water, guilt started to seep in again. My sweet child had eaten no dinner! But...I did not want to fully awaken her as it was quite late. I decided she needed some kind of snack and carried her downstairs in my almost completely dark house. I poured some milk into her sippy and broke 8 animal crackers into halves for her. We went back upstairs and sat in the rocker for quite some time. It become one of my most precious memories...

We sat there quietly with only the Winnie-the-Pooh nightlight illuminating the nursery. She sat on my lap drinking her milk and slowly eating the animal crackers one at a time while we talked and sang songs with the lullaby CD playing in the background. We practiced "please" and "thank you". We talked about animal sounds and body parts. We sang all our favorite songs. I told her how much I love her through the tears that began rolling down my face when I realized the sheer beauty and perfection of this moment in time...this amazing moment I was sharing with my daughter. This was one of those moments I had dreamed about for so so many years. She touched the tears as they slid down my cheeks and I smiled at her. I explained that they were happy tears, very happy tears. She smiled and touched her eyes. I asked her if I could kiss her head (one of our little "things" that started with my cold in October)...she leaned her head down for my kiss. I thanked her and said "Mommy just loves you so much, Rachel. I always knew I would love you, but I had no idea I would love you THIS much. It makes Mommy's heart swell with happiness when I look at you." I tapped my heart twice and pointed to her and said "I love you". I have done that since she was a newborn, and I asked her if she understood. Her response was her little nod and confirmation of "uh-huh". She does say "I love you", but it seems to have some extra L's in it. I truly had no idea it would be like this...

She finished the crackers and milk, and this mommy felt better now that she had something in her tummy. Then she put her head on my shoulder where her blankie was waiting for her and put her other little arm around my neck. All I could think of was the Edwin McCain song titled "I Could Not Ask For More"...I began softly singing the words I could remember as I gently rocked her and kissed her. Then I put her back into her crib and told her I'd see her in the morning...

An excerpt...some of the most memorable lyrics...

"I Could Not Ask For More"

by Edwin McCain

"And these are the moments,

I thank God that I'm alive.

And these are the moments,

I'll remember all my life.

I've found all I've waited for,

And I could not ask for more."

"And these are the moments,

I know Heaven must exist.
And these are the moments,

I know all I need is this.

I have all I've waited for,

And I could not ask for more."

I could not ask for more than this time together,

I could not ask for more than this time with you.

Every prayer has been answered,

Every dream I've had's come true.
Right here in this moment,
Is right where I was meant to be..."

"Darling Rachel,

Thank you for bringing such

love and joy and happiness

into your Mommy's and Daddy's life

every moment of every day.

We LOVE you so very much."

(The last three pictures were just random shots from October and November.)