Happy Mother's Day!!!

Wishing a Happy Mother's Day to all the Mommies who check our blog from time to time. Hope you have a lovely day! I also know some Mommies-To-Be who occasionally peek in too. May you find Peace this Mother's Day knowing you will be celebrating yours soon and it will mean so much to you. I'm posting more words than usual today...sharing some of my feelings about this day scattered with some pictures of the girls and me...

The one above is from Valentine's Day 2009.

Rachel was almost 11 months old.

Sheena just turned 7 years old.

March 2008 ~ 2 Days Old

This picture makes me think of the song

"The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face"

by Roberta Flack.

It was not the first time, but the words are so beautiful.

Mother's Day was a little difficult for me to "get through" just a few short years ago. I love the day set aside to truly appreciate, celebrate and honor 'MOM"...though I do think we need to remember to do that every day. I played with baby dolls for many years when I was young pretending to be a Mommy, always dreamed of becoming one, never imagined not being one and just thought it "happened" when you were old enough and married to your true love:). Whew, was I ever naive! I got a serious "reality check" about ten years ago. It's okay I used to tell myself...it will "happen" when it is "meant to be".

A Kiss For Baby ~ April 2008 ~ 1 Month Old

Ohio Baby Shower ~ May 2008 ~ 2 Months Old

Then the years started flying by. I started wondering and worrying. I was fast becoming just the "observer", the "spectator"...watching everyone around me as their dreams were coming true year after year, but would MY dreams ever come true? Would I EVER get to "join" this beautiful, elite, extraordinary group of women called "Mommy", "Mom", 'Mother" etc...It was getting increasingly difficult as the years stretched into more and more without "baby". I cannot explain this journey to anyone who has not been there. As with many things, one cannot truly understand unless you live it...year after year. You are never upset or jealous of the miracles happening around you...you are genuinely happy and excited for your friends and family...but you do wonder if your "turn" will ever come. You start to wonder if you will ever be able to see this very special day the way you used to...a day to simply celebrate "Mom" instead of feeling incomprehensible pain realizing it is yet another anniversary of your second miscarriage (no matter how viable or how far along the pregnancy was you were still considered pg for 7 weeks), or the sadness of feeling like you wanted to just disappear while others celebrated being Moms and soon-to-be Moms amidst champagne and sparkling grape juice sprinkled with lots of "Congratulations" and celebratory words while you had no good news to share. I guess you can't really toast to the "Mommy Wannabes". You don't want people to feel sorry for you. You don't need pity. You just need to understand something for which there is no explanation.

First Ferry Ride ~ July 2008 ~ 4 Months OldA Quiet Moment ~ September 2008 ~ 6 Months Old

Well...those days are GONE! I look back and realize they were just all part of the journey. Every event happened for a reason...to bring us closer and closer to OUR dream of becoming parents...MY dream of being a Mommy. I look now at my precious daughter...my beautiful Rachel...and I can honestly say every tear, every disappointment, every everything was worth it. She is worth it! I'm not sure why the "road" has to be so difficult for some and "seems" so easy for others, but I do believe everything happens for a reason. I always thought it would "happen" when it was "meant to be" and I was right...it just wasn't "meant to be" when I expected it to be...does that make sense? It does to me...now...

A Sweet Moment Captured by Uncle Kevin

October 2008 ~ 7 Months Old

Buckeye Girls! ~ November 2008 ~ 8 Months Old

On Mother's Day I think of my own Mother, of course:). But I also think of some other people who are so important in my life and who were so incredibly important and supportive during my journey to realizing my dream. My husband, my Frank...you are the love of my life...you are loving, caring, supportive, patient and I'll always remember you as my "rock" during our journey...you gave me space when I needed it and held me close when I needed to just cry it all out. I love you and I know we are closer and stronger than ever...together. And I just love watching you be the Daddy I always dreamed you would be, but we'll save that for another special day in June. I also think of my sister, my grandmother, and some very special aunts and friends...your "shoulders", encouraging words and support make me smile and realize how blessed I am to have you all in my life. I also take some time to think of the very beautiful, unselfish, loving, caring person who has become so special to me and helped make my dreams come true...

First Thanksgiving ~ November 2008 ~ 8 Months Old

First Christmas ~ December 2008 ~ 9 Months Old

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!