RSVP...

Our beautiful girl is turning 3!

Here is a sneak peek at one of her pics from Sunday's

birthday phoot shoot!

We had three outfits and our photographer,

Miss Ashley, took tons of pictures!



"proper etiquette"

"manners"

"common courtesy"

 just plain old

 "being polite"

Sometimes I wonder what all these mean. Are parents "teaching" any of this anymore? Were they ever? Did they teach their children when they were young and then it just "went away"? Can't help but wonder. It has been on my mind a lot lately, unfortunately.  "Did the Christmas gifts we sent ever make it to who we sent them to?", "Did the Bridal Shower gift?",  "The wedding gift?", "The birthday gifts?" and so on...

Is it so hard to drop an email, leave a phone message, text,  or even jot a quick note on FB? "Hi, got the gift you sent. Thanks!" I'm just not sure what to think. Should we stop sending things? Practically everything we send is out of state, and we hear back regarding very few things. I'm always wondering if things actually reached their destination or not. Sometimes I am embarrassed because I ask. Should I have to ask someone if they got the wedding gift or shower gift we sent? I remember the first time I started noticing a change. It was a few years ago after attending the wedding of an acquaintance. I thought it was odd that we did not receive a "thank you" for the wedding gift of money we gave the newlyweds. Then I thought, well maybe they weren't sure of who we were because we were friend's of the groom's mom. A few months later...same thing with her other son. Hmmm...okay, maybe people don't send "thank you's" unless they know you better? Five wedding gifts, various shower gifts, and quite a few other gifts later later to various people...no "thank you's". I just feel like I missed the memo or something. Are "thank you's" no longer necessary? Let me just add that I know people are busy, really busy...I absolutely do not think or expect that someone should sit down and have to write a formal "thank you" for every gift that is sent to them. Heck, with 50 people attending a birthday party, that would be next to impossible for most people. I guess I just think you should somehow let someone know you did receive the gift and it was not "lost in the mail".

Then there is the  "RSVP". I think this is what started this whole thought process these past few days. (yes, silly stuff like this wakes me up at night, interrupts my sleep and I think about it) Every year I send out about 15 or so birthday invites to Rachel's party. I hear back from maybe a third of the people. Is that the norm? I know our parties are not huge, fancy events. I know most potential guests are out of state. Wouldn't you still drop a note or something? "Hi, thanks for the invite. We can't make it to the party. Hope Rachel has a fun day!" or maybe not even that much elaboration. With many, her birthday is not even mentioned or acknowledged. I'm not sure what to do...stop inviting?, just assume every year that even though I take the courtesy to send the invitation that that is just what it is "a courtesy"? and I should not expect a response? Should I just chalk it up to bad manners, people are too busy, or that people couldn't care less? I am not trying to be rude or sarcastic. Anyone who really knows me hopefuly realizes that. I am just not sure what my role regarding "etiquette" should be? I sometimes feel like I am the one who has it all "wrong" here.

From the time she could barely talk, I started teaching Rachel to say "please", "thank you", "excuse me" etc...and I will continue to do so. She waits her turn, she waits in line, she has more patience than I do sometimes. I think I am doing the right thing. I hope I am doing the right thing. She gets cut in front of, "pushed" aside by other kids, and sometimes is even forgotten by the teachers. Yes, that has happened more than once. It was very hard, as a Mommy, to watch my sweet girl sitting quietly, "criss-cross applesauce" with her hands in her lap, only to be passed over when they were handing out instruments or other items. I remember getting tears in my eyes as her big, beautiful brown eyes kept looking up at me as if to say, "When do I get one?" or "Why didn't I get one too, Mommy"? She simply sat and observed the other kids playing with theirs. She is quiet, shy (now anyway), not aggressive, and as sweet as can be. I know I am her Mommy and of course I would think all of this, but I was/maybe always will be a teacher too. I used to see all kinds of kids. I can see where she can be left out, forgotten and (so far) labeled as "the good, quiet kid who is a joy to have in class". Unfortunately, it happens as the "other" kids demand much more attention. But...I want her to have good manners, be polite and to do the "right thing". I hope I am doing the right thing by "teaching" her all of this. I think I am. I pray I am.

As soon as she can write, I will teach her how to write her own "thank you" cards. When appropriate, I will make sure she knows the difference between "RSVP" and "Regrets Only". I will, hopefully, be able to explain the importance of doing each in a timely manner.

I know this is not my usual "happy to be alive...so in love with my girls" blog post. Just some things on my mind. I see the posts, both on blogs and on FB, by friends who experience similar things as this and know I am not alone in my ponderings. On a much more upbeat note...looking forward to sharing more of Rachel's adorable photos soon!